It took me so long...

to finally see beauty in my flaws. 

It took so long to see the beauty in the acne scars that cover my cheeks. It wasn't until recently that I was going through before and after footage and witnessing how much my skin has changed that I saw some real genuine beauty in my scar and texture covered face. Don't get me wrong, I know I'm a beautiful person. I don't consider myself to be ugly with acne/scars or without. There was just a blind fold over my eyes for the longest when it came to my acne scarring, and finally, I think I'm beautiful WITH my greatest insecurity on display for the world to see. It's not even about about the hyper-pigmented redness upon my pale skin, or the dips and ice picks that are visible; though, they do tell a story. It's about the look in my eyes and the entire look of my bare, natural face. I can't fully explain it, but it's a great step in the right direction. 

It took a long time for me to accept the stretch marks that hug my hips. I guess it's obvious by now that I'm scar-prone. I was extremely insecure about my stretch marks. I've been guilty of comparing myself to other women, examining their thighs and behinds to see if I could find any tiger scratches in hopes of maybe relating in some way, but in turn just feeling worse. It took me a while to accept that real women (but not all real women) have stretch marks. They're common. I used to grow tense at the thought of my future significant other judging me when it came time to be intimate, and then being completely turned off. Then, I learned that most men (notice how that is bolded) really just don't care. My stretch marks are a sign of my growth, I guess. They're a part of my story. They're a part of me, and someday, some one, the one, will see beauty in them. 

It took so long for my heart to heal and it took so long for me to learn and it took so long for me to evolve and I'm still doing all of those things and more. It took so long to realize how special time is, and it took so long for me to recognize that the best things happen between the time that I'm insecure and the time that I'm accepting of myself and the beauty that is me.

This journey of life has been such a roller coaster of emotions and thoughts. It's not always about the destination, but it is always about the road trip there.