Why I Am Content With Not Being Content With My Life

As I'm gathering my thoughts for some videos about 2014 that I plan to make (better late than never), I've gone over some of the lessons that I've learned in the past year. Of course, I have many lessons to share with y'all but you'll have to tune into my YouTube channel(s) to find out what those are. I felt compelled to write about this today because this lesson in particular is one that I would've never thought that I would've learned.

In my life, I've spent a lot of time being unhappy. There have been years upon years of not being fully happy for not even an entire day. When I came to this realization, it hurt me and I didn't really believe that I'd ever be happy for at least an entire day. I'd tweet things and say things here and there like "I just want to at least be content with my life." That's all I wanted, contentment. 

Shouts and credits to the Merriam-Webster dictionary for the below definition.

¹con·tent

 adjective \kən-ˈtent\

: pleased and satisfied : not needing more

Pleased and satisfied. Not needing more. 

Synonyms of Content: 

• Comfortable
• Fulfilled
• Gratified
• At ease

I wasn't content with my life at 14, 15, 16. TEEN people. 

I'm currently 18 and I almost can't believe it took me this long to figure this out, but I'm so glad it didn't take me any longer.

I'm happy to not be content with where I am in my life.

Personally, I would not want to be content with being a high school student and living under the rules of my parents forever. Let's not forget the unhappiness part of this. It's true. I wasn't happy for the longest time, my goodness. That itself was a problem, but being happy and being content don't have to go hand in hand.

At 18, I don't want to be comfortable. I don't want to be fulfilled. I don't want to be at ease (what am I? Retired?).  

I am at my prime, and God willing, I will be at my prime for many years to come. 

I want to be thrown out of my comfort zone. I want to always want bigger and better for myself. Not only do I crave growth, but I want to surprised with growth that was unexpected. I want my perspectives to be changed. I want to love what I don't love now, if it's appropriate enough. I want to set goals and reach them and then repeat. I have no time to be content with where I'm at. I'm working too hard to be content with where I'm at. 

Allow me to preach to the audience! I have way too many new places to go, and way too many new people to meet to be content with what this life has revealed to me thus far. You feel me? I'm ready for the surprises. I am waaaaay too motivated to settle for what I got. Don't get me wrong, I am beyond grateful (which has a lot to do with my newfound happiness) but you know what? I want more! I want to take over. And guess what? There is not one thing wrong with that. Find some motivation. Question your thoughts. See things from the other side. Do some soul searching and continue to do yourself some favors, boo!

Change. I'm obsessed with change. 

2015 is the year of commitment but also the year of change. 

The year of commitment to myself second. The year of commitment to my goals and my growth third. The year of change in absolutely every single way. I have no idea what is in store yet but I'm so excited and so ready for this year to be the best year of my life. Whatever life has for me, BRING IT ON! I'm ready for the new experiences and the surprises. 

I'm looking forward to this year. I'm jumping off that plane entitled "Comfort Zone" without a parachute. I'm leaping into my dreams and rising with them as my reality. 

*please don't ever jump out of an actual plane without a parachute.*

I can either sit on that couch, eat those potato chips, and watch nonsense on t.v., or I can get the %#&$ up and actually live for once. 

I hope you feel me. Feel me. Feeeeeeeeeel me. 

I also hope that I didn't get too off topic. 

Peace & love. 

-Amy