I really don't think anything in the world could ever make me stop loving. Ever since I was a smaller me, I've always had a big heart. (I've also always been a bit emotional) I feel what is intended for me to feel. I've smiled when something was smile worthy. If I see someone hurt, I feel the pain for them. I can relate to a lot of people even if I haven't experienced what they have. I've been blessed with the ability to just understand. No matter what it is, I'm able to listen, relate, and advise if needed. I used to think everyone was like this. I learned the hard way, but alhamdulillah I'm so incredibly grateful to have this quality.
I've experienced a good amount of emotions (possibly all emotions) in my life. I've experienced happiness, anger, sadness, and really deep hurt. What always stands out is the pain, the sadness, the hurt, and I guess you don't really "remember" the happiness as much as you remember the "negative" feelings. When you feel the "negative" emotions, tragedy strikes your life. Your entire world is shaken. Sometimes we do this really unhealthy thing where we hold on to that pain and that hurt even though it does absolutely nothing for us. It harms us more than we ever allow ourselves to be healed while carrying that burden with us. Once we realize this, we must do what we know we must do. If you're reading this and you know that you're holding on to the hurt or holding a grudge, please do yourself a favor and free yourself of it. Let it go. Make yourself better. Allow yourself to heal. Face it, whatever is/was hurting you, then let it go. I've been there, done that. You are the one that is in control of your emotions, choose which ones you want to feel and which ones you don't want to feel.
Anyways, ever since I was born basically, I've been around negativity. I was just put in situations and environments that weren't at all healthy for anyone involved. As I started to understand, I was filled with anger, even at a super young age. I never let that anger take over me, nor was it ever an excuse for anything, but it kept getting bigger and bigger towards the people involved. What I've experienced could've totally traumatized me. It could've ruined my chances in the future and I could've huffed and puffed about situations that I really had no control over. The worst case scenario is that today, I could still hold that anger and those grudges against those people.
What's even worse is, what if my faith in love and my ability to love was long gone? I think it could've been possible. Maybe I'd have to learn how to love again and how to let people in or to even care enough about others.
In my last post, I wrote a little about loving those who are deserving of your love, and in that, I meant the relationship kind of love. The main type of love that I speak of isn't the relationship kind of love. It's the love that I share with the world and the people in it. Love doesn't always have to be expressed in the words "I love you." It can be kept to yourself and felt in your heart. It can be a smile, the look you give someone, a simple prayer for someone, or even a really genuine and nice thought about someone. It can be recognizing someone's most powerful traits, or the beauty that their eyes hold.
I can't help but love. I can't help but to see the good in good people. I can't help but to see what everyone can offer. I can't help but to believe in people. I can't help but want to help you, guide you, comfort you, and show some type of love towards you. I love loving. I love caring.
I used to hate that I cared so much about so much. I haaaated that I had so many feelings. I hated that I felt so deep the most. When I'm hurt emotionally, I can feel that pain to the core of my soul. I saw it as something that was weak, and many people probably still think that it's a sign of weakness, but I couldn't disagree more. It just means that I feel. I'm human. You're human. And when you feel, I feel with you. That right there, that's love.
I can become an emotional mess, but that too has love at its roots. But it's not until recently that I realized that one of the best things about me is my ability to love. When I love, I love hard and whole heartedly. Every atom of my being is put into the extra strength super glue that is love.
The extraordinary John Legend once sang, "we were made to love."
Some people might say that the entire point of us being here is to love. To share love, to make love, to raise love, and most importantly, to feel love. I believe I'm one of those people that is here to make you feel it. Whoever you are, no matter what race or religion you are, no matter your interests, no matter how much we have in common or how opposite we are, and no matter what situations you have faced, are facing, and will face in life. I can love you just by looking at you and seeing some type of beauty glowing inside of you.
One of the reasons I'm here is to love you. I love good people. I love people that share knowledge with others. I love people who help others. I love those with good intentions.
I probably love you. Probably.
I, Amy Ali, was made to love.
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